Jazgul’s Prayer - Justice & Mercy International

Jazgul’s Prayer

A reporter friend of mine in North Carolina wrote today to set up a phone interview. She wants to hear about what stirred JMI’s interest to open Grace House in Moldova. I think the following testimony by one of our girls says it all much better than I can. (I’ve left the translation as it came to me to preserve the “Moldovan authenticity”).

My name is Jazgul Orozov. I am 15 years old and I have graduated from the orphanage in Ungheni. In my life I have had many stresses, therefore I became a shy and timid person. I like reading, sports a lot, and especially gymnastic. The two of my sisters and me were born in Kirgizstan where our father’s home is. We are four sisters in the family and I am the third girl.

The sufferings began even from the moment we were born. Violence, yelling and tears were present in our house. My father was abusing us physically every day, but especially he was abusing my mother. I can remember how he was beating mother so badly that blood was all over her body. There were nights when our mother couldn’t spend at home running away from her husband. Our life was a disaster.

Many years have passed by until our mother couldn’t bear all these sufferings and decided to run away from home forever. One night, being pregnant with the fourth child, she took me in her arms and my other two older sisters by hands and headed to the airport with no luggage or anything. She implored the people responsible there to let us in the plane. They had mercy on her and let us in. We came to Moldova where Ulizana, our younger sister, was born. When we arrived we didn’t have any home or roof so we decided to go to our grandparents’ house. But they didn’t allow us in. The mayor of the village gave us a room in an old kindergarten which was not functioning that time. Unfortunately that room didn’t have the necessary conditions for living – there were no window glasses or any stove to cook food. There were days when crying we were falling asleep starving. Our mother was trying hard to get some food for us from the villagers’ gifts.

We lived like this for a long time, but also during these difficult years our mother started to get sick due to the father’s physical abuse and the stresses she has been having in the past. She couldn’t think like the other normal people, then, she was having some periods when she was acting very strangely but after that she was regretting. She was very strange. Since then we started to have fear, because the mother was able to do anything to us, so we were afraid even of her. Sometimes she was beating us for no reason and we tried to explain her but it was in vain. The violence has started again. We tried to get used with her behavior and gestures. After I turned 6 a teacher from the village has heard about our situation and she came to tell our mother to take us to the orphanage. At the beginning our mother didn’t accept because she loved us very much, however she knew she couldn’t support us on her own. My older sisters and I were taken to the orphanage. The younger sister was taken to another orphanage.

The life at the orphanage wasn’t easy either. I had food and a bed to sleep there but I didn’t have the parental love or encouragement I needed. The only happiness I had was that I had my sisters close to me. At the orphanage I often was offended due to my different nationality or to the problems in my family we had had. Some persons even abused me physically because they knew I didn’t have anyone to protect me and this was hurting me mostly. I felt so alone. None was willing to accept me. There were moments when the parents of my friends were coming to visit with them and I was waiting too for someone to come. Since a child I don’t know what a father’s love means – I was raised with no father and with a sick mother. But I thank the Lord for this. However, in my heart was shaping a shadow which was the hate I had towards my father. I was blaming him for my mother’s situation. Many nights I was going to bed crying but dreaming of a happy family. Then, I realized I already had a broken family.

When the mother was visiting us, even rarely, it was a joy for us, but her health condition was so bad that it was dangerous for us to be in her presence. Sometimes we were hiding from her because we had fear, though we longed so much to see and talk to her.

One day she came at the orphanage and was in a big dispute with the director. She argued with him and asked for our papers and us to take back from the orphanage. We heard that she wanted to go back with us to our father to Kirgizstan. This frightened us so much and we started to cry. Our mother took us by force to the railway station where we had to wait for the train. The time I had there I spent in prayer to the Lord asking Him to save us. We heard from a relative that our mother’s purpose was to sell us. It was a hard time for us while waiting. But the moment came… we all were trembling having a great fear. I knew that after those iron doors would close behind us, we’d turn back to the same life we had had before. But I didn’t want that life. But here, God listened to my prayers and He didn’t allow happening again. When my mother was almost to buy the tickets she realized she didn’t have enough money to pay for that.

Then the mother got another bad thought. She said to us: “If we didn’t have enough money to leave, then stay here and die for hunger.” She took us back home and locked us by force in a room and left us there with no food or water. If we were crying then she was coming and beating us. It went on like this for a week until we decided one night to flee from there. We were very hungry and skinny. The dogs were barking and didn’t allow us to hide. However we got to our grandparent’s house and stayed there for a week. Then a family relative took us with her and we stayed for the whole summer there. That summer I will never forget. After that, our mother’s visits were more difficult. We loved her but we had to protect ourselves. From our mother’s words I understood that my father has another family and he has children and doesn’t care for us. But I know there is one true Father who cares for us and whom we can trust, He won’t leave us or forsake us.

At the moment my mother has the same health problems with mental crises but God inspired us with courage and patience. Most of the times the mother is in hospital and we visit her often. There is no treatment for her but I only can pray for her.

This year I graduated the orphanage in Ungheni. I was in a very desperate situation not knowing where to go, what to do. I had the wish to continue my studies but I had no support. It was risky to stay with my mother. But God takes care of His children and He brought me to Grace House. This is really the house of grace because I am surrounded by special people who love and care for me. I have everything I need and this is all I’ve dreamed about… my dream became true.

When I will be grown up and will have my own family I would like to offer them the things I missed in my life and I won’t allow my children to go through the same sufferings as I did.

God has worked through wonders in my past. He is still working now in my life, and I’m sure He will work in the future as well.

If you’d like to help make a similar difference in a child’s life, consider sponsoring a child or contact Steve Davis (steve@justiceandmercy.org) for more information!

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