Justice and Mercy International

How can I communicate with my sponsored child?

All communication with children must be translated into English or Romanian by JMI’s interpreters.  You are able to write to your child by logging in to you “MyJMI” account at http://my.justiceandmercy.org. If you have any questions please contact info@justiceandmercy.org.

What are JMI’s expectations for corresponding with children?

We see correspondence with children as a significant part of your sponsorship. We’d like to see sponsors spend time getting to know their children and encourage them in their lives and spiritual walk with the Lord. We advise against

• making promises you may not be able to keep;
• indulging their fantasies/desires about coming to America or being adopted by you;
• any discussion with a child that is not age-appropriate (although you should be sensitive to any statements that might pertain to past abuse or potential human trafficking);
• any evaluative statements about any particular religious denomination.

How often should I write my sponsored child?

We encourage you to write your child once or twice a month. Although we accommodate those who want to write more often, there is a point at which too much staff involvement on behalf of a single child may take away from the attention others need.

What should I do if I don’t hear back from my child?

Some children may not be able to write and others may live in remote areas that are infrequently visited by our staff (such as children who are transferred to sanatoriums, taken back into the home of a relative, or graduate and attend remote schools). In most cases, however, you should receive a translated email from your child once every few months. If you do not, first contact your email translator. If you fail to hear from your child in another month, please contact Steve Davis at steve@justiceandmercy.org.

When are sponsorship payments due?

If you are providing monthly support, it helps us to have it in house by the middle of each month in time for our end of the month wire transfer of funds to Moldova. (No payment due notices will be sent, but reminders will be posted in JMI’s monthly emailed newsletters).

Will I receive an acknowledgement of my gifts for tax purposes?

Yes. You will receive an end-of-year acknowledgement.

Can I get set up with an automatic draft on my bank account?

Yes. Please contact Tracy Lockwood at tracy@rollinghillscommunity.org or call her at 615-861-3663.

Is it possible to mail gifts to my sponsored child?

Mailing packages is very expensive and unreliable. We suggest you deliver gifts in person as a part of a mission team or impose on a friend or acquaintance to be your “delivery service.”

Is it possible to send money to my sponsored child on special occasions?

Yes, but we encourage you to limit gifts to no more than $25 and to be aware that gifts children ask for the most are probably things that are more susceptible to theft.

How should I respond if my sponsored child asks me about bringing her to America or providing him with some particular gift which may be an extravagance?

Any gift you provide a child of any value is likely to be stolen…one of the distasteful realities of life in an orphanage. Therefore we discourage indulging children with such items as bicycles, walkmans, jewelry, etc.

Requests to be brought to America will become more frequent among our children as they hear of others receiving those opportunities. Do not assume that this is the absolute best thing you can do for a child. Certain pathologies in children do not become apparent until they are introduced into a stable environment. Simply inform them that you are not able to do so.

What should I do if my child asks me to keep something confidential?

Agreeing to keep confidential requests is a potentially damaging practice and is discouraged. Children living in institutional environments are prone to hearing and sharing inaccurate information and contributing to rumors that may or may not have any basis in fact. If a child tells you he has something important to tell you but you have to promise not to tell anyone, your response should be: “I will be glad to listen to you, but I can’t make you any promises that might cause you or anyone else harm.” Beyond that you should encourage them to share their concerns with a JMI staff member.

Do you advise us to inquire about or avoid family history when writing our sponsored child?

Conversation about family is customary and appropriate in Eastern Europe. Most of the children you encounter will have traumatic childhoods and no child should be encouraged to reveal things about themselves that are apparently embarrassing or shameful to them. It is okay to ask a generic question or two such as, “Do you have a mother, father or siblings?,” “where do they live?,” “do you see them often,” etc. If you are in Moldova and attentive to their tone and facial responses, they will indicate whether they are comfortable with your questions. However, you should never comment about a parent as being right or wrong, good or bad (although, if a child reveals a history of abuse, it would be appropriate for you to say, “That wasn’t your fault,” and leave it at that). A good rule of thumb is to not engage children on this level unless you have been educated in counseling.

How should I regard comments from my sponsored child assigning me the status of a parent?

Moldovan children are eager to please and in some cases assign you the status of a parent. It is not necessary to correct them in this, but it is also not wise to encourage these designations unless you are ready and capable of entertaining questions of adoption. Furthermore, children will eventually need to come to some healthy resolution over issues of neglect or abandonment by their real parents, and reaching that critical goal can be hindered if they become confused by your role in their lives. We want children to have the sense of being “claimed” or accepted by someone in the universe, but we’d like to first and foremost direct them to an understanding that they are children of God and loved unconditionally by Him. In most cases it is preferable to refer to them as your special friends.

Should I offer my sponsored child advice?

It is inadvisable to provide a child with advice. Most of us are not professional counselors and are unfamiliar with Moldovan customs and attitudes. Nor do we realize all the ways in which our suggestions to children can be misconstrued. Even well-intentioned adults can do more harm than good despite their best intentions. You can help the most by offering words of encouragement or sympathy, congratulations, and helping children to think for themselves.

What is JMI’s policy regarding communicating on matters of faith?

For the country of Moldova, we believe it can be helpful and appropriate for you to tell a child about your personal relationship to Christ. We do not believe it is helpful or appropriate to force that conversation or engage them in discussions about denominational superiority, doctrinal issues, or make blanket statements about the rightness or wrongness of controversial issues such as abortion, gender preference, etc. Many of our kids have been exposed to a variety of faith expressions and they very well may ask your opinion about the differences they perceive. If a child initiates such a question, you may want to encourage them to read certain Biblical references and formulate their own belief. If you have ongoing concerns, encourage them to speak with one of our staff.

What type of social services does JMI provide its sponsored children?

Children who are in the graduate living, and transitional living programs are provided with such services as assistance with job placement, English and computer proficiency, training in life and business skills and counseling. All sponsored children living in orphanages will be monitored for any physical need not attended to by the orphanage….JMI will work to meet those needs.

I have heard that other organizations sponsor children in Moldova…does that represent a problem?

No. In our view, the more advocates and services an orphaned or destitute child has access to the better! Our money is used in different ways than that of other organizations and for different phases of life. JMI will attempt to avoid duplicating sponsorships within our own organization without worrying about what others may or may not be doing.

What should I do if I suspect my child or another child is in an abusive situation or has made suicidal suggestions?

There is a high incidence of suicide and institutional abuse in Moldova. Your connection with your sponsored child is an invaluable resource in keeping them from being anonymous and hopeless. Any suspicion of child abuse, neglect or potential suicide should be reported immediately to me at steve@justiceandmercy.org.

Is there anything else you think I should know?

Yes. In order to responsibly ensure the safety of the children in our programs, sponsors should be aware that correspondence with children is not considered a private matter. All emails are translated by our staff. JMI staff are provided training in identifying any content that might be deemed inappropriate or represent a potential risk to children. We assume that in those rare instances in which there is a questionable comment, sponsors have simply made statements that were poorly worded, and the author would be notified if a statement was reworded in translation. However, more questionable comments or innuendos will be brought to the attention of executive staff for follow up with the sponsor in question.